Thursday, October 23, 2008

on feelings

Feelings.  I'm a thinker, in general, so this doesn't come easily to me.

As part of my series on becoming a new monastic, here's an update on city selection.

There are four of us that are planning to move in together.  We are committed to one another.  The next big question is "where?"  The first answer is prayer.

From my perspective, the next answer is to explore the callings / gifts / desires that God has given to each of us, and determine if there is a place where all of them can be fulfilled adequately.  For me, that means finding cities with programs that allow me to teach without proper certification.  You may be familiar with Teach for America.  Some cities have similar programs just for their specific city.  That is what I would need, since TFA doesn't allow you to choose your location.  For my brothers, one is interested in working in a psychology lab, another in grad school for land use and development, and anther in a student campus ministry called InterVaristy Christian Fellowship.

And then there are girls.

One is dating a girl from PA, another is pseudo with a girl from WI.

So I'm back to feelings.  Milwaukee was first suggested as a possible location about a month ago, and then dropped, and now is back on the table again.  It has never felt right to me.  It seems every time the word Milwaukee is mentioned I get a strange turning in my stomach.  Maybe it's bad baseball.  Maybe it's because the girl in Wisconsin is a (the?) reason Milwaukee is back on the table.  Maybe the word just sounds gross.  Maybe it's the Holy Spirit.  Maybe it's nothing.

Praise God for feelings.  Life would be desert without them.  I just wish my own feelings were a bit more rational, their source a bit more discernible.

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